Permission to Die
by Jen.RxH
Summary: Ron had once jokingly promised to ask Hermione for permission before dying. Hermione, being Hermione takes all promises very seriously. 'He was slipping from her.' : : R/H obviously in love
1. A memory

Hi everyone, this is my new fan fic. It will consist of two or three chapters :P this chapter is sort of the pre- chapter that is important to know about in the next ones because of certain things said.

please read and review and check out my deathly hallows missing moments fic here: .net/s/4904693/1/The_Silver_Doe_Deathly_Hallows_Missing_Moments

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Hermione sat by his bedside her eye lids drooping, but she fought the urge to sleep and kept her eyes open, staring profoundly at Ron, who lay still, not even gifting Hermione with his usual snores. Normally, Hermione found his snores a bit annoying- especially when she was trying to fall asleep herself, like the nights at the burrow where they seemed to echo throughout the whole entire house. But right now, she'd have liked nothing more than to hear him snore again- indicate to her that he was still himself, and that he'd be all right.

Instead, he had been like this all day, ever since he was poisoned; pale as snow, weak and vulnerable. Each breath he took was strained, and occasionally he would let out a faint moan which broke Hermione's heart.

What broke her heart more though was the fact that he could have died. He could have left her forever without another word when she hadn't spoken to him in months. Weeks and weeks of silence, and dirty looks, and plots to get back at him for what he'd done to her.

She didn't even have a right to be angry with him really. It's not like she told him how she felt. It's not as if he'd responded with the same amount of interest. He was her best friend- and nothing more. She'd never be anything more.

Although, she pondered as an after thought- he did mumble her name early on in the day.

Three syllables that made her heart stop beating and feel like she'd taken a bludger to her stomach. She smiled as she reminisced. Maybe they really did share mutual feelings. It was him after all who had envied Viktor Krum, and comforted her at the hospital wing last year, following the department of mysteries. A sort of gloom welled over her as she came to the realization that they honestly spent to much time in this place.

She looked around at the familiar creamy walls, very dimly lit in the night. Madame Pomfrey would kick Hermione out in a heart beat if she knew she was sitting here at the very moment.

Hermione had crept in, only hours ago using Harry's invisibility cloak and was quite unnoticed by anyone who passed. And a good thing at that since-

Her thoughts where interrupted by a faint moan.

She looked at Ron pityingly and took his hand. How she wished he'd wake up.

"Sorry… So sorry. Please-." he mumbled quietly in slumber.

Hermione stared at him curiously. He was asleep wasn't he?

"Er-my-knee. Please, st-stop ignoring me."

"It's okay Ron," she reassured him, wondering if it would make any difference. "I forgive you. I'm sorry too…" Her voice trailed off as tears started to brim her eyes.

All of a sudden Ron sat up his eyes wide open.

"Hermione?!" he exclaimed his voice scratchy.

Hermione cupped his mouth instinctively. "Shh!" she looked over to Madame Pomfrey's office (where the matron slept) to check for movement.

"Bloody Hell…" Ron whispered, flopping back on his pillow clutching his head. "What the hell happened to me?"

"Bloody hell is right Ronald Weasley!" Hermione hissed at him trying to control her voice. "How could you? You can't just go and… and almost die on me without… without…asking my permission!" she felt her eyes water and face flush so she turned away from him embarrassed.

"I… What?" Ron mumbled lamely looking up at Hermione pleadingly.

"You got poisoned Ron. If Harry wasn't there to put that bezoar down your throat, I wouldn't be talking to you right now. Mind you, you wouldn't have gotten poisoned in the first place if you didn't eat every damn thing you saw." She snapped hotly.

"Hermione…" he took her by the hand, forcing her to look at him. "I'm sorry alright? I… couldn't control it exactly… and you know how big of a prat I am."

She was going to snap at him again, but his blue pleading eyes, which where underlined with dark purple bags and his pale washed out face caught her soul.

She broke down completely, sobs racking her body.

"No, I'm s-sorry. I-I shouldn't have sent those birds on you- an-and Cormac- and I mean, ob-obviously you couldn't control being poisoned… And…" She took a deep quavering breath, "You can snog whoever you want Ron, I'm sorry I acted the way I did…"

"Come here Hermione." He told her softy, shifting over in his bed and patting the now un-occupied spot next to him.

She sniffed dramatically and climbed in, resting her head at the crook of his neck.

He hugged her waste and looked deeply into her eyes, trying to convey to her that he meant every word he spoke.

"If anyone is at fault here, it's me. And Merlin knows why I snogged Lavender in the first place. She's god awful and definitely not my type."

"Why isn't she your type?" Hermione urged, snuggling closer to him, warm in his arms, feeling as if this was where she was meant to be.

"Well for one, she's not clever at all. Rather dim, that one. And her hair… it's blond… Ew." He spoke the last bit like a preppy girl would and made Hermione giggle. Then he went on, "She's annoying and clingy and dependent on everyone. I haven't seen her read a single book… and let's see- oh she loves divination which is absolutely mental."

"Oh." Hermione smirked to herself. She looked up at Ron, who was smiling her favorite lop sided grin.

"Oh." He repeated, "I almost forgot. Her eyes, they haven't got any depth to them at all. They don't… sparkle the way some do…" He inched his face closer to hers and Hermione followed, certain they were about to kiss, their faces only millimeters apart now. Then Ron cupped his mouth unexpectedly and sat up.

He went into a coughing fit. Hermione rubbed his back soothingly, a little disappointed that their kiss didn't happen. She was pretty sure she heard Ron curse to himself.

When the coughing ceased he flopped down on his pillow, putting his arm around Hermione once more and sighed heavily.

"Next time, I promise I'll ask your permission to die Hermione." He smiled weakly at her.

"You promise?" She asked him seriously.

"I swear." She saw that in his clear blue eyes, he meant it.

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Please Review! and keep in mind that the next chapters will be better because they are more important.

Angst, love, comfort, pain- all to come next chapter.

Hope you enjoyed


	2. Permission

New chapter finally up!! yayy!! I had it ready for a while but my computer had something wrong with it and simply would not allow me to access it. I was getting quite worried. Well here it is, and I feel quite terrible, I really hurt Ron in this... :P

Hope you enjoy!! and don't forget to read my other recent fic, deathly hallows missing REVIEW!!!

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Hermione ran frantically through the hallways at Hogwarts desperately seeking her Ginger haired best friend. They had been together only moments ago but were somehow separated, leaving Hermione absolutely distraught. Not being able to look over and see if he was alright and unharmed made her increasingly anxious especially after the moment they shared outside the room of requirement. She couldn't explain it really- it was as if… as if he was part of her now. Not that he wasn't before, oh no, he was always a part of her. But now… her feeling had only increased was to say the least.

She ran deeper into the castle, its walls broken and damaged- almost unrecognizable from the way it was before. It hurt her heart to see injured lying on the tiled floor, surrounded by loved ones- waiting until they drew their last breath. It hurt her heart to think of Fred, Ron's kind older brother who had never failed to be sincere. And it hurt her heart to think of Ron, and Ginny and especially George who would be so lost without him now. He was not the only one gone. Lupin and Tonks… the ache was too much. She yearned not to feel. The only thing that prevented her from breaking down at the very moment- overwhelmed with emotion- was her determination to find Ron. When he was with her she felt whole and right. She felt optimistic in a sad sort of way- but the want to go on was overpowering.

She dodged spells and stunned death eaters as she went until she came into an empty hallway but didn't cease to relax. It was an eerie sort of passage. Hermione was unsure weather it was because of the state it was in, or because of its loneliness and isolation. She shivered, walking forward, her footsteps echoing along the way. She came to a halt, still panting for breath as she looked around trying to figure out where in fact she was. This particular hallway was not in the ruins as much as the other parts of Hogwarts were, but was still hard to recognize all the same. Was it the hallway leading to the library? No, couldn't be. She would feel right at home then… Or perhaps it was the third floor? No. She realized where she was standing- the hallway that lead to the Slytherins common room. That certainly explained why her blood churned just standing there. Why she was overcome with anger and grief and longing. Why-

She never did finish her thoughts, because at that moment someone grabbed her wrist. Their touch was alarmingly cold. She spun around to see whom it was- expecting Neville, or maybe Luna for the touch was not rough. What she did not expect to see however was the horrifying face of Bellatrix Lestrange alight with malice.

"Hello, Mudblood." Hermione didn't even have a chance to move. For a flash of yellow light hit her straight in the face.

She stood there silent, eyes shut waiting for the pain to come, but it never did. She opened her eyes cautiously and inspected herself only partially aware that Bellatrix remained standing before her smiling in anticipation. She seemed to be unharmed. Using this as an opportunity, she tried to grab her wand from her back pocket- but she didn't budge.

Why couldn't she grab her wand?? She looked down at her arms that swung pointlessly at her sides, as if a strong gust of wind had just blown past her, and she tried to move them again.

But they didn't. She tried to take a step forward with her legs.

But she couldn't. She then realized that she was rendered immobile expect for her head, which for some reason could move freely. It was a very frightening sensation, not to be able to control her body. It was as if she was paralyzed from the neck down. She stared horror-struck at Bellatrix who began laughing vindictively.

"Perfect." She hissed, "I want to hear your screams."

Hermione stood petrified- quite literally and waited for her providence in this deserted corridor. Would she torture her again with the cruciatis curse? The memories still haunted her.

"Bring him innn!" She called, her eyes still fixed evilly on Hermione- a smug grin spreading across her face.

There was a loud bang and a little wooden door- one Professor Flitwick might have used- flew open, along with several pieces of crumbling wall. Out came Greyback, and a struggling Ron whose arms were pinned behind his back.

"Got his wand." Stated Greyback indifferently, tossing it to the side.

"No!" Hermione yelled, terror rising in her throat. She struggled internally for movement but gave up feebly when she realized her actions were meaningless.

"Hermione." Ron whispered, although his voice was clearly audible in the hallow hallway. His face resembled Hermione's identically- horror-struck.

"Do you like it?" Bellatrix taunted her, twirling Hermione's bushy brown hair against her fingers. Hermione shook her head away vigorously.

From the corner of her eye, she could see the look on Ron's face full of deep detestation. She wasn't sure she'd ever seen his face full of that much loathing.

"I set it up just for you. Oh that's right Mudblood, I remembered the last time when you all got away. I thought I'd make it a little more- what's the word… fun this time."

As Bellatrix spoke, Hermione wondered if it was possible that the witch had become even crazier since their last encounter. The circles under her eyes were so pronounced that you could almost mistake them from black eyes, and her hair stood even higher and messier, if possible than before.

"Hermione why aren't you running?" exclaimed Ron, his eyes insistent and focused.

"I can't move Ron, she's put some sort of spell on me…" she replied hopelessly beginning to feel tears roll down her eyes.

"Bellatrix you… you cruel… why- how could…" she chocked on sobs, not wanting to imagine what was going to happen next.

She didn't understand it. How could a human being be so… un-human? Did she have no emotions left in her at all? No compassion or Empathy? Had the dementors sucked it all away in Azkaban?

"It's very simple Hermione. Being the 'cleverest' witch of you age I thought you'd make that one out… It's entertaining." Her face was growing more exited by the minute.

"Let her go you bitch!!" Ron bellowed, voice firm, struggling against Greyback's grip.

Greyback chuckled behind him, his eyes darting from Bellatrix to Hermione with pure anticipation.

Hermione swallowed. She knew that Ron had made a terrible mistake.

"Oh." Bellatrix said simply, striding over to Ron as if she was walking down the street on a Saturday morning. "So you want to play that game…"

She looked to Hermione. "Hear that mudblood? Your ickle Ronnikins wants to play_ that_ game. Seems he wants to end up just like poor Freddie."

Both Ron and Hermione's mouths opened in protest, but neither had time to speak. Bellatrix was too quick.

"Crucio!" she shrieked, pointing her wand straight at Ron.

Ron's agonizing yells echoed through the walls as he lay withering on the floor clutching his head. And without even realizing it, Hermione began to yell with him.

"Stop it! STOP IT!!" she bellowed at Bellatrix who was laughing mentally still.

Now she understood what it had been like for Ron at Malfoy Manner. Hearing his screams as if the curse had been inflicted on her- yet not being able to do a thing. Her best hope was that someone would hear. Someone would help them.

Bellatrix flicked her wand towards the floor and the curse seemed to stop as Ron's yells subsided into low moans as he panted on the ground.

"Oh, Greyback- you are no use to me anymore, you may go." She added idly to the werewolf who still stood watching the scene.

"But the girl. Surely you'll let me have the girl after all this?"

This sentence seemed to restore Ron's strength as he stood up and charged at Greyback grabbing him by the throat.

"Ron!" Hermione yelled again, whishing that the boy would stay still. How could he not realize that being noble was not the way to get out of this situation?

"Ugh." Bellatrix said, deeply annoyed.

A flash of light and Ron's knees buckled, and he was bellowing on the floor again.

"You see?" she yelled over Ron's screams. "You are only interfering. Now go before I curse you."

Greyback sighed heavily like a child who had been denied desert and made his way out of the corridor, leaving the three of them alone.

Minutes passed, each feeling like hours and Ron continued to yell pointlessly and Hermione continued to weep hopelessly

"Okay how about a little teensy, weensy break." She said to Hermione as she removed the curse from Ron.

She approached Hermione until they were almost nose to nose. She could smell the stench of Bellatrix's breath.

"You enjoying the show so far girly?" she asked Hermione as if almost earnestly.

Hermione spit in her face before she could stop herself.

She held her breath to see what would happen next.

Bellatrix's face contorted with anger and she raised her wand ready to curse until something seemed to catch her eye.

Ron was crawling to his wand that lay only a few feet away. If Bellatrix's attention had remained on Hermione only ten seconds longer he might have made it.

"He's quite determined that one eh? I see why you like him… apart from the fact that he's a filthy… blood… traitor…Stupefy!" Bellatrix shrieked as Ron flew until he hit the back wall.

There was a sickening crack when he fell, and he lay there, only partially conscious, with his leg in a disturbing angle. Pieces of wall crumbled as well, several bits falling onto Ron's head.

He didn't even make a sound.

Hermione sobbed hysterically as she watched Bellatrix approach Ron.

She crouched down beside him and looked to Hermione. Her smile grew at Hermione's hysterics.

"You know, I heard that Muggles do a lot of their killings with knives." She said, as she pulled out a blade from her pocket.

"I suppose I better make his death authentic then no?" she continued, "Since muggles- or a certain muggle to be exact is the reason he's going to die right now."

"No." Hermione sobbed. "NO!"

"The question is… where to put it…" She pretended to think about it.

Then Bellatrix put the blade at Ron's heart and spoke, this time to him, as he watched her, his face still twisted with rage.

"Why not here? For symbolic purposes." She raised the knife, ready to stab.

"Hermione, I love-" but he never got a chance to finish his sentence because Bellatrix brought the blade down and pierced him, from where Hermione stood, it seemed right in the heart.

She had no breath in her. She struggled for air but it did not come. And she knew, that if it were not for the spell keeping her fixed, she would drop to the floor in an instant.

Bellatrix rose slowly, still giggling as crazily as before and began to speak, her back to Hermione.

"And that, my dear is what happens to people when-."

"This is for my parents." Someone spoke.

Bellatrix had only turned around fast enough to see a flash of green light that hit her directly in the chest before she even had a chance to mutter 'Longbottom.'

She fell to the ground with a thud.

Hermione crumbled to the floor as the spell holding her captive was removed. Her entire body felt as if it had been unused for years.

Neville ran to Hermione and helped her up. He looked even more beaten then before, yet his face continued to hold a look of blazed determination.

"Hermione, are you alright? I heard screaming so I thought I should come and check."

"I'm alright Neville… its Ron."

She looked to where Ron lay, and Neville followed her line of vision and gasped.

"Oh my…"

"Please, get help Neville!" she urged.

"What? Right!" he ran out of the corridor faster than Hermione had ever seen him run.

"Hurry!" she called after him frantically, although he'd already been far to far to hear her.

She stepped over Bellatrix's body as she made her way to Ron blindly, since tears were swarming her eyes.

"Ron." She called, half sobbing.

"Hermione…" he whispered scratchily.

"Ron, you were so brave... Too brave, why couldn't you just keep still? I know it hurts, but Ron you have to hold on. Neville's gone to get help, you'll be alright, do you hear me? It'll be fine."

He nodded and opened his eyes.

"Hermione, I can't breath." He whispered struggling.

Neither could she at the moment, she realized she was hyperventilating.

"Ron. I have to pull out the knife. It's going to hurt, but I have to…"

He nodded solemnly again and closed his eyes. She noticed his jaw clench tighter.

She grabbed the knife by the handle and took a deep quavering breath before she pulled.

She heard Ron draw a struggling breath, and she watched crimson blood begin to spill feely from his chest.

She knew that she had to apply pressure to the wound so she put her hand over it and pressed as hard as she could.

"Hermione," he spoke gently, his eyes finding hers, "I- I need to…I don't think I can…"

"What is it Ron, do you need something?" She ran her fingers through his hair repeatedly, as if trying to sooth him.

"Your permission. I need you permission." He croaked.

"My permission? What do you mean, my permission?" She already knew of course. How could she not know.

"You know what I mean." He whispered, "I swore to you I'd ask."

She shook her head vigorously, like a dog might, trying to clear his ears of water. "No! Ron, NO!" she forced. "I do NOT give you permission! Just wait, you'll be alright. Neville's coming. One more minute Ron, just hold on one more minute, please!" she begged as she bawled uncontrollably, fighting to keep eye contact with Ron.

"I don't think I can." His voice was barely audible now. His eyes began to lose focus but he forced himself to look directly at her.

"P-please." She managed to choke out, cupping his face with one hand. "You can't- I love you…" She spoke the last part to quietly she wasn't sure Ron had heard her.

"I really do love you Hermione." He spoke quietly, taking her face in his hand. And then it dropped, and his eyes fluttered shut.

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There it is! I'll upload as soon as I can.

I wonder if Ron died... maybe, maybe not... ;)

and REVIEW!!! :D


	3. Waiting

As, promised! and on the same day too. :)

Another chapter up! This takes place right before the 'reunion'

I don't exaclty know how St. Mungos works so this is just how I thought it up :P Hope you enjoy and review!!

Oh, and p.s make sure you keep reading because the beginning is not what it seems :P

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Hermione ran her fingers through Ron's red hair for the last time. They were about to close the coffin. The funeral was drawling to an end, and it was almost time to lower him into the ground, where he would rest forever, gone from her. She would never be able to touch his warm freckly face again. Never be able to get lost in his clear blue eyes. Never smirk at his reddening ears when he was embarrassed, or tease him for some arbitrary matter. They're bickering had finally come to an end.

She was not surprised to find cold tears running slowly down her face one after the other as she looked at his lifeless face, white and still as paper, or perhaps as white as snow. She leaned against the smooth birch surface for support, as her knees were quivering underneath her weight.

She looked quickly over to the Weasley family who were supporting one another only several feet away. Though Harry had his arm around Ginny, and also Mrs. Weasley he was looking at Hermione sadly and their eyes met a moment before she tore them away from him. The rest of them were huddled together, whispering words of comfort.

Comfort. The word struck her as unfamiliar. What possible comfort could there be at a time like this?

She put her hand on Ron's cold cheek and sighed. She used to always fear the deceased. And open coffin funerals would normally scare her. Yet she did not feel a twinge of fear or resentment as she held him, as she used to, for the last time

"I love you." She whispered finally, before striding away, sitting on a bench alone several meters from the coffin.

There, sobs shook her body and her chest heaved as she mourned the loss of Ronald Weasley. A death, she would never get over.

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"Hermione." Someone called distantly. "Hermione, wake up."

Hermione opened her eyes, her vision obscured by tears. She wiped them away hastily with her forearm and sat up, finding herself face to face with Ginny.

Ginny sat beside Hermione now that there was unoccupied space on the sofa and looked very worried.

"You were crying and calling out in your sleep Hermione. I thought it would be best to wake you." She looked around uncomfortably at her feet and then around at several people who were sitting elsewhere. Their eyes were all transfixed on Hermione, but as Ginny glared at them they suddenly found interest in something else. She looked hesitant for a moment, as if fighting some sort of internal struggle before continuing. "Was it… about Ron you were dreaming of?"

"I… It was a dream?" asked Hermione weakly rubbing her neck. The position she slept in on the stiff couch was not very comfortable. It felt so real, Ron's death. Was he then, alive? And if so, where was she? How much was fiction and how much was reality. The reality of it had been so strong that she was having trouble distinguishing life from sleep.

"I'm so confused…" she mumbled trying to differentiate the two.

"You… We are at St. Mungos Hermione. Remember?" Ginny said nervously, as if unsure whether Hermione needed a reminder of this.

"I…Oh!" she yelled, rather loudly so that several people, who were sitting on other sofas or chairs looked over again. And it all came to her.

"Oh it was so realistic Ginny!" she cried, grabbing hold of her friend tightly into a hug. She did not care if people were watching. "For a moment I thought he was dead!"

"It's okay 'Mione," Ginny comforted, patting her on the back. Hermione felt a twinge of regret as she called her that. It was only Ron who called her this on occasion and only him alone. Ginny however did not know of this and went on. "I'm sure he'll be perfectly alright, it's only a matter of time before we hear from the healers."

They had finally let go from their embrace and Hermione saw that Ginny did not look as confident as her voice sounded.

"Where's everyone else?" Hermione asked, looking around the room. Several sofas and cushioned chairs were pressed up against the walls, all occupied by people. Some were crying- no doubtedly grieving. Some were pacing anxiously, and some were sleeping on the couches as Hermione had just done. And some were standing or sitting on the floor- usually near a couch that was being slept on. She saw a couple of familiar faces, Hannah Abbot for instance, who gave her a week nod and returned to patting the back of the lady beside her, who was crying violently. She did not however see Harry, or any of the other Weasleys.

"They went back to the burrow for now. They'll come right back when he wakes, or uh, we here of the situation…" At Hermione's puzzled face she added, "Only two people are aloud to be in the waiting room over night, and it's been almost 18 hours now. They left about 5, maybe 6 hours ago." She concluded.

"Oh." Hermione stated, feeling her face flush. She was ashamed; Ron's mother and father ought to have been here, not her. Maybe she should leave and apparate to the burrow and switch places with Mrs. Weasley.

"Stop thinking what you're thinking." Ginny answered Hermione's thoughts. "Mum didn't even think twice about it. She's not clueless you know. None of us are… I offered Harry to stay but he thought I should, in case you needed comforting… or something of the sort…" Her voice trailer off as she smiled weakly.

Hermione tried to return the smile but she felt as though she might have produced a grimace instead. She felt terrible that Ginny had meant to comfort her when it was her who ought to have been comforting Ginny. It was Ginny, after all who was Ron's sister. Still, she appreciated the gesture immensely. "Thank you, Ginny." She whispered.

"Not at all." She shrugged, "Plus, Harry felt my folks might need more support right now anyways. I reckon he's right. They're pretty shaken up. First Fred, now this…" Ginny looked to the floor, her eyes turning pink and swollen. It was very rare to see Ginny succumb to tears, and it was clear she was fighting to resist them at the very moment.

Hermione put a hand on her shoulder and squeezed it, trying to convey silently that she was here to comfort Ginny too, if she needed it.

"Thanks." Ginny whispered, her voice shaking.

Hermione nodded. "Ginny…" she began, she wasn't sure if this was the appropriate moment to ask such a question, but her insides were burning to know it. "How's… how's he doing? I know they give reports every couple hours on his condition. I know I must have missed several while I was asleep."

After seeing Ginny's hesitant look she added quickly, "Please, the truth. All of it."

Ginny swallowed and looked at Hermione. Her expression made her nervous. "What… what is it?"

"Last they came, they said they were still unsure. Whether or not he was going to…" she swallowed again. "Live. They said he bled a lot, they said his lung was punctured, and that his weakened condition – from when he was tortured made things more difficult."

"But… but they can re-grow lungs can't they? And blood loss, all that can all be fixed with potions and magic!" Hermione argued, unable to control herself.

"Well that's just the thing Hermione," Ginny said softly. "Re-growing a lung is an excruciatingly painful process. Some are unable to handle the physical pain itself, and Ron, Ron was tortured and beat up as well as stabbed. They just don't know if he'll be able to hand it."

Hermione nodded solemnly. She looked up at the ceiling, her eyes swarming with tears, and she was trying to control them, for Ginny's sake. As she was looking up she noticed an unusual aspect of the room they were in. A sort of bizarre thing not often seen anywhere. The ceiling was exactly the same as the walls, as if it was another wall itself- light green with lilies- their stems intertwining with other stems. Every flower was attached with the other across the ceiling and down the walls. It was a very bizarre thing indeed to be comforted by but for some they seem to express her a bit of optimism and for some peculiar reason Hermione felt herself relax.

She sniffed and wiped here eyes again. They hurt at the contact and Hermione knew why. A lot of crying had taken place the last couple days, and more to come.

She looked at Ginny, and said confidently. "Ron _is_ strong. He'll be just fine in the end, you'll see."

She smiled encouragingly at Ginny for the first time. It was as if their positions had switched, and it was no longer Hermione that needed to be comforted. Ginny still looked uncertain. "He knows he's got a lot to live for." Hermione finished.

As if these words were some sort of cue, three women walked into the waiting room. One was an older looking burly woman with kind eyes, reminding Hermione a tiny bit of Madame Pomfrey. One was a relatively young brunette with green eyes and one was an attractive blonde. All eyes fell upon them.

The burly woman picked up what looked to be a checklist or notepad.

"Who are the Walkers?" she said gently with an Irish accent.

"We're… we're here," said a woman tearfully across the room.

The burly woman began to walk across the room, a sad look of resentment in her eyes, and Hermione knew what the poor walkers were about to be told.

The blonde then read her list. "And who is here for Mrs. Robb?" she asked quite cheerfully.

"We are," spoke a girl hesitantly, roughly Hermione's age.

"Well if you come along with me, you can see her, she is awake and just fine." She smiled widely at them, her perfectly strait teeth sparkling as she did.

The girl and a man- most likely her father got up, grinning widely and followed the woman out of the room.

It was the brunette's turn to speak. "And who is here for Mr. Ronald Weasley?"

Hermione's heart dropped deep into the pit of her stomach, and her air supply seemed to be cut off. She felt quite grateful that she was sitting down. If she had been standing, she would have most likely fallen.

Across the room she could hear terrible crying- someone weeping uncontrollably. It seemed as though the Walker's had been informed of their terrible news.

When Hermione didn't speak- she couldn't speak, her voice was lost, Ginny spoke up. "Um, we- we are."

Hermione reached clumsily for Ginny's hand and squeezed it tightly when she found it.

"My name is Lucy Crosswell and I was one of his healers. Mr. Weasley is in stable condition." She smiled reassuringly. "We had to re-grow his lung and so far the process seems to be going relatively smooth. Still, we cannot be positively sure, but by the looks of it, we think he will be able to make a full recovery in time."

Hermione heard Ginny let out a sigh of relief, and she too did the same.

"C-can we see him?" Hermione asked, finally locating her voice.

"Yes, you can, if you two follow me I can take you to him."

Ginny and Hermione got up, still hand in hand and approached the woman.

"Let me just warn you, he's still looking quite… well beat up. I think you know this, but a warning nonetheless.

And so, Hermione and Ginny followed Mrs. Lucy Crosswell into the room which they kept patients that were in critical condition, and Hermione's heart was beating as fast as it had when Bellatrix was torturing Ron. And she hoped dearly that her knees were not going to give out at the sight of him.

* * *

Oh I really can't wait to write the next chapter with the emotion filled moments! I've begun it already.

So yes please don't forget to review, it encourages faster writing.

REVIEW! :D

and read my DH fic .net/s/4904693/1/The_Silver_Doe_Deathly_Hallows_Missing_Moments


	4. It all comes back to this

Hey guys! sorry for the delay! I had this ready last wednesday but for some reason fanfiction wasn't working :S

Well here it is and I hope you enjoy it!!

(I recomend that you read this with this song in the background. It sets the mood ;P ( well it's up to you)

.com/watch?v=vQVeaIHWWck

* * *

It was night time. The moon shone through the little window beside Ron's bed and reflected onto him, putting his injured state into perspective. Hermione looked away, and stood up off her chair, to peer through the little window.

The moon was full. It was full and beautiful, as were the stars surrounding it, in the clear night sky.

She always did wonder about the universe. She wasn't sure what she truly believed. She hoped that there was in fact a God somewhere out there watching over. But her over analytical brain sometimes took her faith away. She always had to over think everything. That was how she was.

Yet, moments like these rekindled her faith. How could there not be a higher power? When the sky full of beauty shone at them every night? When the man she loved was alive, and had managed to miss death by a second.

She wished for a moment that she could go outside. Lie on the cold damp grass and take in the night's beauty to the fullest. Or perhaps to spread her arms and simply stand- breeze in her hair, eyes closed hoping idly that maybe the wind itself might take her away.

Away into nothing and everything.

Oh how she yearned for waters cold refreshing feel. The smell of roses and tulips and lilacs in the burrows garden. The rustling autumn leaves swaying against the chilly air, the feel of snowflakes falling on your face, or maybe rain. But most of all, the feeling of blissful obliviousness. Carefree and young without another trouble in the world.

She was surprised to find her eyes wet with tears.

She wiped them away hastily, sparing a soft chuckle under her breath. She felt like a little girl, with child like desires that you begged your parents for desperately.

But her desires would come, they would come eventually. After funeral marches and coffins and sadness and grief. After healing and comforting and crying they **would** come.

_He_ would come.

She looked back to Ron who lay as still as before and sat back onto her chair, which stood right beside the head of his bed.

The sight of him made her tremble. She remembered that she feared she would collapse when she saw him for the first time after the traumatic experience.

She was almost right.

Her knees had buckled underneath her but before she had the chance to fall Ginny had caught her by shoulder in time.

"_You alright?"_ she was asked, numerous times. Over and over, pointless words spared out of politeness. Nobody was alright. Molly, Fred, George, Ginny,** no one **was alright.

And she most certainly was **not **alright.

They had told her Ron would look beaten up.

Yet, Ron did not look beat up.

He looked dead.

His death, a gruesome one at that, as if he might have been run over by a car a couple times.

Hermione took his hand delicately and took a deep breath of air, as she realized that she had stopped breathing. The air felt cold, as if a frosty winter draught had blown into the room.

She studied his appearance again, for what seemed to be the twelfth time that day.

His face seemed least damaged. Though the left side of it was somewhat bruised and purple he still looked like himself. The paleness of it resembled one of a corpse. Hermione found it hard to tare her eyes away, but finally did.

His shirt was removed, so his shoulders were exposed, but other than that, he may as well have been wearing a shirt.

White bandages enwrapped his torso beginning from the ribs down to his hips. The same white bandages covered his left arm, elbow down. His left leg, starting right above the knee was in a white cast, propped up on several pillows.

"_I know casts aren't usually used, but you see Mr. Weasley's broken leg was quite severe, and before we can give him the potion that would put it right, we need to put it back into place- something that must be done with him conscious. So in the mean time, we just put the cast on, to keep it as steady as possible." _Was what the healer had said, when noticing Hermione's quizzical looks.

_Super _she thought,_ when he wakes up to a hell of a lot of pain, he'll only have to feel more._

He had suffered many minor injuries- cracked skull, dislocated shoulder, broken ribs, elbow, humorous, wrist, knee, shin, but most of the trouble was because his lung was punctured which was in the process of being re-grown- a most horribly painful process.

She rested her hand on his chest, and felt his un-even strained breaths against her palm.

Wincing on his behalf, she pulled her hand away.

She wanted him to wake up. She wished he would just open his eyes and be alright. But not only did she want him to awaken- she wanted this to happen when they were both alone together.

Hermione felt ashamed at this selfish thought. She was merely a friend- although after this she was certain she would be more… But no matter- she was not family. Still, she wanted Ron to herself. She wanted him to comfort only her when she cried, to wipe her tears away. She wanted him to tell her he loved her over and over again.

She took his hand another time and sighed. The feeling was just too familiar. Everything seemed to bring them back to this.

He had never before been as close to death as he had been now. Only hours ago she felt him slipping from her.

She saw his eyes close, his breathing slow, his heart falter, and she was powerless.

And here she sat, next to him part blissful part miserable unsure of what exactly she ought to feel. One side of her told her she should rejoice. He was alive. Living, breathing, heart thumping and he would keep on living until he was very old, and hopefully, hers.

Another part of her still mourned. Not only for him but for everything, for everyone. For all the deaths that occurred and the misery still to come.

Voldemort may have been defeated but the terror he caused was not over.

She was unsure of how much time had passed since the Weasley's had left her here- when she had declined their requests for her to come with them. Normally visitors were not allowed this time of night, but being Hermione Granger- Harry Potter's best friend and assistant in the defeat of Lord Voldemort had its benefits. But time was not an issue. Her thoughts were so crowded that time flew.

Sometimes, she would run her fingers through his hair. It was something that she had always done when he was hurt or injured. She wasn't sure why. It was as if it was some sort of habit she developed over time when it came to him.

Sometimes she would stroke his cheek or obsessively adjust his covers- trying uselessly to make them more comfortable.

Usually however, it was his hand she held. _It all comes back to this._ Her thoughts re-played.

Lost in reflection, she was completely unprepared.

She almost squealed when he squeezed her hand.

She froze. She wondered if she had imagined it.

Then he squeezed her hand again, this time more tightly.

His eyes fluttered open slightly and rested on her immediately.

The tentative smile that crossed his lips was enough to get her to choke on sobs.

She put her face in her hand as her body shook still holding onto Ron with the other.

"Shhh-sh, H-Her-mi-one. I-t's ok-okay." He struggled breathlessly. His eyes closed as he spoke.

But this only made Hermione weep harder. The effort it took to speak a sentence made her heart ache.

"I thought you were dead." She spoke feebly through sobs, "You- you asked m-me for my permission! I thought you were dead!" she repeated.

"So did I." He whispered scratchily. His breathing pattern resembled a person's who had just cried uncontrollably for three hours and fought to regain air.

"Don't you ever do that to me again Ronald Weasley." Hermione murmured trying to control herself, sobs subsiding into occasional sniffs.

"I won't Hermione." He answered. His breathing seemed to have slightly improved.

The moonlight continued to reflect light onto him, and his eyes, that were looking up at her were transparent in the glow. _So sincere, always sincere._

"It seems to always happen often, this, doesn't it? Ron asked.

"Pardon?"

"Me, in the hospital, you crying at my bedside, me making promises, you lying beside me in my bed…" he said the last bit with a small smirk.

"Yes, I can't say I enjoy this reoccurrence." She said sternly trying not to snap. Then, with a little bit of humour in her voice continued, "And I don't believe that last part has reoccurred yet."

Ron smiled and tried to shift over, wincing in the process.

Hermione's smile dropped, "Stop it Ron, you're way too hurt…"

"No," he said weakly as he made enough space for Hermione to fit in. "Please?"

At Hermione's sceptical look, he added, "It'll make me feel a lot better." He whispered, his eyes pleading.

She sighed in defeat, and slowly climbed in trying desperately to avoid contact with Ron.

She lay at his right side- the side of his body that was less injured and rested her head on the bit of pillow that stuck out under Ron, close to his shoulder.

"I- I'd put my arm around you, but…" he mumbled lamely.

"Quite understandable." She replied smiling. Her Ron was back.

"Ron?"

"Hmm?" his voice was barely audible and she assumed that he was probably drifting to sleep.

"Are you…" she hesitated, "Are you in a lot of pain?"

"What good would it do if I answered that?" he mumbled sleepily.

"I just want to know." She wondered if those words were honest. Did she really want to know?

"Well… loads. To the point where I sort of want to scream, though I don't think I'd have enough breath for that anyway..." He muttered quietly.

Hermione cringed internally and unconsciously began to stroke his chest.

He turned his head (wincing) to face her. So that they were almost nose to nose- or nose forehead. "What are you doing?" he smiled timidly.

"I don't know," she replied, "want me to stop?"

"Nope" he let out a wheezy chuckle.

"I didn't think you would. Would you mind if I did this then?" she began stroking his face with her fingertips.

"No, don't mind that either." His voice was still scratchy, strained and breathless.

Without even thinking, Hermione leaned a little closer and kissed him gently on the lips, holding up his chin, and pulled back.

"Or that…" he whispered grinning. Hermione normally would not have been so bold, but the past couple days made her realize that she needed to act on her emotions straight away or it might be too late.

She saw his eyelids begin to droop, and she saw him attempt to fight his weariness.

"Go to sleep," she murmured softly.

"Naw, I don't reckon I-."

"Yes you do, you need to rest." She kissed his shoulder, and nuzzled closer to him.

He smiled at the contact. "Okay. I am pretty tired- don't know why the hell though after hours…" he took a breath, "But I reckon you're tired too, so, you should just… stay…"

"I'll be here. Tomorrow morning I'll probably be kicked out of St. Mungos for sure, but I'll be here."

"G'night Hermione." He whispered, closing his eyes.

"Goodnight Ron."

"I… I love you, you know that?" he added shyly.

"Yes. And I love you too Ron, always."

* * *

well here it is.

the question is: do I stop it there? or do I make it into a long chapter fic? votes votes votes. Majority wins so please let me know.

If I do end up updating I am not sure when though because I am going out of the country and I am not certain when I will have internet connection.

REVIEW

(in the mean time I will mark it as complete because I will get more reviews and I am a review whore. :D )


	5. Ideas

Authors note :)

so I have tought about it and I have decided to continue this story. Whether right here or in a sequel I have not decided. but there will be more! :D

I have a couple ideas to what I might do, but mostly this note is to ask you, my amazing readers, to give me your thoughts. If you have any ideas- any requests even to what you might like me to include. I probably will.

For instace, if you wish me to have a senario in which ron falls down th stairs, I might just write that at some point! (this is hypothetically speaking though... I don't think i'd actually have ron fall down the stairs... or you never know...)

anyways just let me know if you have any feelings to how youd like this to go on. I can't promise i'll use everything but if something catches my eye i'll be sure to include it at some point :)

So yes, review and tell me what you think- if it colides well with what I have already planned then I will most likely write about it if you like.

In the mean time I hope you are all having a terrific summer, and for those who hav read m deathly halows missing moments, I am very sorry that I cannot update till september. But i promise, as soon as I am out of this country- I will update everything!!

Sorry for anyone who got excited, and will let you all know what to expect by replacing this note with another one in a couple days.

love jenna


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